It’s fitting that my mom was the one to alert me to Ruth Bader Ginsburg’s death. My mom who, in ways small and large, taught me to be someone who understands that what you do is less important than how you do it and for what reasons.
I admit: RBG passing sent me into a spiral immediately. I was numb for about an hour and then Andrew said, almost off-hand, “I’m just sorry that she didn’t have a chance to rest,” at which point, I melted down entirely. The idea that someone so remarkable could spend almost a century advocating for others, especially women, and then die while so much of that progress is being torn apart and undermined crushed me. I felt so tired, so overwhelmed, so defeated.
In the week since, I’ve been boosted by those around me (as is almost always the case) – a video of a colleague’s middle school-aged kids and their friends writing in chalk on the sidewalk “Remember to vote” and “The future is in your hands;” a long conversation with a dear friend who always inspires me and puts everything in perspective; a fortuitous sign at a local shop reminding me, “Don’t lose hope.” I listened to a podcast interview with Professor Kristin Neff, who explained that a key aspect of self-compassion is the yin and yang of sitting with your pain (or feelings more generally) and identifying ways to respond. Carnot’s mission is rooted in this very concept: to be clear-eyed about things as they are while creating actions to move forward.
Neff also talks about the value of rage. Women are so often criticized for being too emotional. In fact, it’s quite common for anyone without power to have their entirely just, entirely rational anger dismissed out of hand by those in power – and in fact used to invalidate the very reasons they (we) are angry at all (see: anyone talking about looters instead of protesters). It’s a vicious cycle and Neff argues that anger channeled toward causes of social justice are not just right but essential.
I am angry. I am frustrated. I am disgusted. And yet, those feelings are the ones that keep me from falling into despair or worse – apathy. Rage is serving as a countervailing weight to a news cycle, a year, a society that relentlessly pulls in a direction of defeat.
With Carnot, we aspire to fulfill RBG’s exhortation to “Fight for the things that you care about, but do it in a way that will lead others to join you.” We’re fighting. Join us.